A letter: or, how I became a player

26 Oct, 2026

Dungeons and Dragons is for middle aged dudes who are way too into math and playacting and misogyny. This was my belief for the first 30 years of my life.

At the beginning of covid someone invited me to join an online DnD group. I thought that meant drinking beers and staring at each other over zoom for four hours. I don't like most of those things. I said no thanks.

A couple years later my housemate turned me on to Critical Role. The storytelling drew me in. I found out that you don't have to be a middle aged dude to play. You can be hyperfemme, you can be butch, you can be soft, you can be ace, you can be hornybard. Or all of those at different times.

My next cautious step was a short-lived 5e campaign. When it ended, my otherwise awful psychiatrist told me I needed to find a group to keep playing with. So I ran a mini campaign for a couple friends.

I found some Gay People In My Area playing games. I only wanted to play 5e, ofc, until someone on the GPIMA discord brought up Worlds Without Number as a worldbuilding tool. I dove headfirst into OSR and Dying Earth and megadungeons.

It's true that the hobby is filled with middle aged men who are way too into misogyny. That's okay. I've been forcing my way into places I don't belong since I was 4, when my classmates made a We Hate Barney Club and I alone was denied membership.

upshots

Things I've done since my first DnD game in 2023:

played in 120 sessions as GM or player
created a 78-room dungeon (and ran some of it!)
acquired approximately 25 physical ttrpg books
joined approximately 25 discord servers related to ttrpgs
changed my pronouns
learned that I can be creative!

Systems I've played since 2024, rated from most enjoyable to least:

#misc